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Do you ever get to Christmas and think; “How is this meant to be joyful when I am this hot, this tired and this close to hiding in the laundry with the trifle spoon?”
So hold on, because whilst we are going to give you some hard-hitting statistics and truth bombs, we also have some quirky, friendly hand-holding tips in here to lighten your Christmas season.
A 2024 Medibank survey found that 46 per cent of people aged 18 to 49 expect the cost of Christmas to negatively affect their Mental Health and wellbeing.
At the same time, national data shows that in 2023, around one in six Australians aged 15 and over often felt very lonely. So yes, the “most wonderful time of the year” is also the time when bank accounts, nerves and tear ducts are running fairly close to the surface.
So, in the spirit of honesty, humour and small mercies, here are some ways to survive Christmas, possibly enjoy bits of it, and not completely abandon yourself in the process.
Take a breather, take your shoes off.
When the volume in the house hits that special frequency where you can feel it behind your eyes, go outside. Take your shoes off and stand on the grass. Notice the ground, the warmth or the cool, the ants conducting their own Christmas rush.
If your brain likes a plan, try box breathing: in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4, repeat. You can also check out our article on Box Breathing techniques for a simple, step-by-step guide you can use in the bathroom, beside the bins, or leaning on the fence while you “check the esky.” It looks like you have wandered off. In reality, you are quietly rebooting your nervous system.
Family dynamics and boundaries (yes, even today)
The holidays often mean stepping back into old family roles at high speed. The one who smooths things over. The one who cooks everything. The one everyone confides in but no one actually helps. Or the one who tries to be everything, losing themselves in the atmosphere and suffering for days with the old energy expended hangover.
It is no wonder feelings sit so close to the edge. Financial pressure itself is a major driver. Beyond Blue’s 2024 Mental Health and Wellbeing Check found financial pressure was the leading cause of distress for nearly half, 46 per cent, of people surveyed. Add expectations about gifts, travel, who stays where and for how long, and it is a lot for one nervous system to carry.
During a time of year that can be overwhelming, nurturing yourself and acknowledging your own pain, instead of swallowing it to keep everyone else comfortable, is essential for your wellbeing.
You are allowed to notice, “This is actually hard for me,” and let that be real. You can take up a bit of space at your own Christmas.
And for that tricky relative, here’s a quirky twist. For every negative thing they say, you quietly give yourself points. Five points might equal a massage in January. Ten might be a round of golf, new pyjamas, or an afternoon alone with a book while someone else watches the kids.
Taking something annoying and secretly turning the endurance of it into a reward; now there’s an idea!
Let go of the Hallmark version.
We are sold a very glossy script: everyone beaming, linen napkins folded into swans, no one crying in the pantry. Real Christmas in Australian households is more mixed. Sweat, flies, one overcooked thing, one unexpectedly beautiful moment when someone laughs so hard they snort.
Some years are tender and light. Some are heavy, punctuated with grief, divorce, illness, blended families, or just exhaustion. You do not have to pretend you are fine because it is 25 December. If your eyes sting during the carols, nothing is broken. It just means you are human, and the year has been a lot.
Genuine joy, not forced cheer.
There is a big difference between “We are all having fun, yes?” and genuine joy. Genuine joy is often small and slightly scrappy. A lopsided pavlova that still tastes incredible. Card games that descend into theatrical cheating. The five peaceful minutes on the back step with a cold drink while the kids make up new rules for backyard cricket.
The question is not “How do I make this Christmas perfect?” It is closer to, “What actually feels playful or meaningful for me this year, in this season of my life?” That might be plunging into every activity or bowing out of half of them and sitting with the dog.
If Christmas is lonely
Not everyone is squeezing around big tables. For some, Christmas is very, very quiet. In 2023, the Australian Bureau of Statistics estimated that roughly one in six Australians often felt lonely. Holidays can turn that from a background hum into a deafening melancholy.
If the day ahead looks empty, you are not alone. We can get drawn into the “Christmas Propaganda” and Instagram catchment, a breeding ground of FOMO and “Less than.”
Sometimes it helps to gently change the script.
You might put your hand up to volunteer at a community lunch, help pack hampers, or join in with a neighbourhood event. Perhaps a day just for you can be a way to navigate. Eat the food you actually feel like, take a swim, text or call someone who feels safe, and drop the idea that you have to pretend you feel any different than you do.
Here’s Your Permission Slip
- Leave the washing up and sit down. The mess will still be there in an hour.
- Bring one dish instead of three. Buy the salad if you want to.
- Kick your shoes off on the grass and actually notice yourself breathing.
- Say no to one more catch-up, even if you feel a bit guilty.
- Book the future massage your inner scoreboard has already decided you deserve.
The magic is not in keeping everyone happy. The magic is there when you quietly loosen your grip. The magic is there because once we release some of the expectations and pressure we put on ourselves, we may actually begin to enjoy the season of connection and celebration in a new way.
The irony is, when a few of those “shoulds” finally drop, Christmas often shows up in full tinsel anyway, messy and sparkling in ways you can actually feel.
As psychologist Christopher Germer puts it, “Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” That kind of kindness is often what opens the door to noticing the beauty that was already there.
If things feel bigger than one day, there is support beyond family and friends. Talking to your GP, a counsellor, or a helpline can be a steady way to look after your Mental Health, not just survive the season.
And if, as the dust settles, you notice the same patterns showing up in your Workplace as at your kitchen table, The Team Approach can help. In the new year, we work alongside Australian workplaces to support Workplace Wellbeing, strengthen Psychosocial Safety, and make sure EAP Counselling and other supports are more than fine print in a handbook.
You do not have to turn Christmas into a Hallmark scene. “Good enough, with a few real moments of joy and a bit of kindness for yourself” is more than enough this year.
Helpful Support Services
Lifeline – http://www.lifeline.org.au – 13 11 14
Beyond Blue – http://www.beyondblue.org.au – 1300 22 4636
Suicide Call Back Service – http://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au – 1300 659 467
Kids Helpline – http://www.kidshelpline.com.au – 1800 55 1800
MensLine Australia – http://www.mensline.org.au – 1300 78 99 78
Headspace – http://www.headspace.org.au
SANE Australia – http://www.sane.org – 1800 18 7263
1800RESPECT – http://www.1800respect.org.au – 1800 737 732
National Debt Helpline – http://www.ndh.org.au – 1800 007 007
Emergency services – 000
Sources
Medibank (2024), The cost of Christmas causing mental health concerns
Australian Bureau of Statistics (2024), Social connections: Feelings of loneliness, 2023
Beyond Blue (2024), New online tool for financial stress from Beyond Blue and Financial Counselling Australia
Beyond Blue (2025), Free online tool helping thousands of Australians support their financial wellbeing and mental health
AIHW (2025), Social isolation and loneliness
https://www.aihw.gov.au/mental-health/topic-areas/social-isolation-and-loneliness
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